A Complete Thanksgiving Meal
Betty! Help! I have guests coming over and I have no idea what to make for Thanksgiving dinner!
Yes, it’s decorative gourd season! (link is absolutely NSFW, but a classic). “When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables….”
But I digress. I have the perfect menu for you.
Dinner will include:
- Turkey
- Cornbread stuffing
- Sour cream and chive mashed potatoes
- Acorn squash
- Cranberry sauce
- Pumpkin pie bars
The best part? You can make most of it ahead of time, which means that you can actually spend time with your guests. If you want to, that is.
Two Days Before
- Bake the cornbread for your stuffing.
- Make your cranberry sauce. Refrigerate.
The Day Before
- Make your potatoes and refrigerate. Can be reheated in the oven before serving.
- Make your squash and refrigerate. Can be microwaved before serving.
- Make your pumpkin pie bars. Try not to eat them. Refrigerate, possibly at a neighbor’s house to avoid the aforementioned eating problem.
- Brine the turkey, if you haven’t purchased one that’s pre-brined. (Thank you, Alton Brown, for teaching me this.)
The Day Of
- In the morning, make your cornbread stuffing. Bake halfway. Finish baking while the turkey cools.
- Make homemade whipped cream for the pumpkin pie bars.
- Make the turkey.
- Eat.
The shellacked vegetables are up to you, though. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Tags: cranberries, dessert, entertaining, holiday, main course, pie, potatoes, pumpkin, side dish, squash, stuffing, thanksgiving, turkey

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We never got around to carving our pumpkins, so I’ll be using your instructions to make puree out of them. Then Raj will be making a pie crust since the commissary is out of the roll out ones and once was enough to convince me to swear off pie crust making forever. Somehow, Raj can make them without experiencing any white hot fury at all. He even kind of likes it. Weird.
Huh, pie crust with no white hot fury? But that’s my secret ingredient! How would it taste without it?
They’re sending him to the Philippines tomorrow. IN MY HOUR OF NEED. So…those pumpkin squares don’t require a crust…
Anger-free crust — more like a cookie than a pie crust.
Be safe, Raj, and come back soon.