On Tuesday, I set out as the storm front rolled through the area. I was ahead of the rain, but managed to ride in a powerful and steady wind through the duration of my 17-mile ride. I felt slow and kind of incompetent the whole way through. It was demoralizing.
But then I rode again on Thursday, a nearly 20-mile haul up the paved trail. There was no wind and I felt like I was flying over the asphalt.
And then I came home and looked at my pace.
Remember when I said that I didn’t mind being in the back of the pack? Yeah, I think maybe I was lying.
I have what I think may be a legitimate fear of failure. It’s not that I don’t think I can train to get better and stronger and go longer, but I’ve looked at my calendar and don’t see how I’m going to make 50 miles happen. In the 19 weeks until the ride, I’m going to be away for eight, three of which are in the final month of training. So for now, I’m holding the 35 mile distance in my back pocket and hoping that I can find some miraculous way to log 30-mile rides in hotel gyms. (I realize that this is highly unlikely.)
But on the bright side, I like riding. I don’t get the same zoned-out clarity that I get from runwalking, but it’s still good. I need to work on improving the ergonomics of my 17-year-old bicycle (without a doubt, the best birthday gift I’ve ever gotten), which may be just as important as strength and stamina.
My training week looked like this:
- Monday: rest
- Tuesday: 17 mile ride plus walking
- Wednesday: Pilates
- Thursday: 20 mile ride plus walking
- Friday: rest
- Saturday: 5.2 mile run
- Sunday: walking
For now, I’m working on trying to establish as much of a normal routine as I can. I’m off to Columbus, Ohio next weekend for a conference, and will do my best to run or walk or make use of the hotel gym in some way.
Let’s run. Let’s ride. Let’s just do something.
Also: I could very much use your help with my fundraising. Can you make a small donation to my efforts? Thank you so much for your help.