I Drink Water

Don’t Give Me That Look, Server


Not every meal requires a beer. Image via Shutterstock

Not every meal requires a beer.
Image via Shutterstock

As you know, we’ve been eating out a lot in the last three months. And I see a lot of this.

“Hi, I’m Travis and I’ll be taking care of you today. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Water with lemon, please.”

“Just water?” <Travis gives me a major case of side-eye for being cheap>

Look, Travis. I know that you want me to order a bunch of cocktails so that you get a bigger tip, but let me clue you in on something: sometimes, people just want to be hydrated. And water does that. Even WebMD will tell you that it’s important for your health. (This may be the only article on WebMD that doesn’t end with “You may have a brain tumor.”)

So just stop, ok? I’m not being a cheap bitch and I’m not trying to cheat you out of your tip. I drink water. That’s my thing.

Now, stop giving me that look, ok?

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One Response

  1. Lisa Y says:

    I always know servers are cursing their bad luck when they get to our table and we order “two waters and three kids’ waters” but that’s what we drink at home too! Then they especially love us when we order one adult entree to split between our three kids instead of ordering three kids’ meals!

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