Betty Says: You’re Asking Me About Dating?

A much better picture than any of our rainy-day wedding photos.

Here’s one that’s a bit out of Betty’s league, but we’ll give it a shot anyway.

I’m getting back into dating–okay, truth be told I’ve never “dated” just had serious, long term relationships with people I was friends with first. So, I’m interested in trying out dating (YES, Betty, I’m 42, but I’m a late bloomer!). What’s your advice for easing into it and managing my own (usually high) expectations?

– Learning in L.A.

Hey Learning,

My first reaction is to wonder if you know that I haven’t been on a date since 1995. There’s probably a lot that’s changed since then.

I think, in some ways, you answered your own question. In my experience, there’s nothing that guarantees dating failure like being on the prowl for a date. My successful relationships have come from friendships, the gradual realization that hey, there’s something more to this relationship and this person than I initially thought.

That’s not to say that there isn’t something to be said for the wining and dining and sweep-you-off-your-feet phase. But over the course of a lifetime, there’s a lot more boring downtime than grand romantic moments. If this person isn’t someone that you can just hang out with.. well, then what?

And as far as your expectations go, what are you expecting? You’re 42, self-sufficient and independent. You don’t need someone to take care of you (although a little bit of care would always be nice). I know you well enough to know that you are a magnet for awesome and energetic people. Get the word out that you’re open to a new relationship and it will find you.

If anyone has more recent dating advice to share, please chime in below!

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