Kitchen Mishaps

Adios, hand mixer.

I’ve had the same hand mixer since my bridal shower more than a dozen years ago. About a year ago, it started acting funny. By “funny” I mean that the lowest of its three speeds didn’t work anymore. This can be a bit of a problem when you’re trying to gently incorporate flour into a mixture before going full-tilt, but I more or less managed by stirring gently before kicking the speed up to medium.

Yesterday morning, I was trying to quickly throw together a birthday cake for the Tiny Kitchen Assistant. The cake mix required 30 seconds on low, then two minutes on medium. I did my stirring thing before clicking it to medium speed.


I turned it off, then back on again. Nothing. I turned it to high and it finally kicked in. I blended the mixture and was very pleased to be able to finish the job without having to resort to manual labor.

To release the beaters, you turn the mixer off, aim the contraption over the sink and push a button. I followed those three simple steps, and guess what: the beaters turned on. Spinning wildly over the sink, with no bowl to contain the batter-covered beaters.

I spent the next hour scrubbing batter splatters off the cabinets, the sink, the windows and pretty much every kitchen surface within a 20 foot radius. And if that wasn’t enough fun, I got to do it again last night when I found more spatters — now dried on — in random spots around the kitchen.

Let this be a lesson to you: don’t delay replacing that wonky kitchen appliance.

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