Nothing Fits

Nothing Fits When You’re Taller Than Average


Me and my big ol’ shoulders, sitting by the Muay Thai ring.

There are many good things about my current workout plan of Muay Thai and Pilates. There are also drawbacks. Namely that nothing fits me anymore.

Houston, we have a problem.

See, I’m taller than average. And not just taller than the average woman. At 6’1″ (185 cm), I’m also a full 3 inches taller than the average American man. Even when I was rail skinny — taken aside by the school guidance counselor and warned about the dangers of bulimia sort of skinny — I always had disproportionately large shoulders. When I first started out in the suit-wearing working world, I needed to buy everything as separates because I was a size 2 in pants and skirts, and a size 8 through the shoulders.

So here I am now, taking Muay Thai/MMA fitness classes, and it’s only making the situation worse. Much, much worse. I now not only have man-height, I also have man-shoulders. (I also have to say that all of this has given me the butt that I would have killed for at 22, so it’s not all bad. But again: nothing fits there, either.)

I went through my closet this weekend and packed away all of the stuff that definitely didn’t fit anymore. That filled two Rubbermaid storage containers. Then I moved the borderline stuff — the stuff that’s no longer comfortable, but I could squeeze into in a professionally necessary pinch — into the back section of the closet. And in the front? Not much. I basically wear the same stretchy Hue leggings or Athleta pants nearly every day with a sleeveless Vince Camuto blouse (bought in every color at Nordstrom Rack), topped with a men’s blazer, my Athleta jacket or one and only Lululemon jacket purchased on sale and at a favorable exchange rate in Vancouver in 2014.

Huh. Interesting that aside from the leggings and the men’s jacket, most of these are “athletic” fit.

Granted, my wardrobe was largely outdated. I have clothes in those bins that predate my 10yo kid’s existence on this earth. There are things in there that my mother bought for me, and she’s been gone for a dozen years. But I have literally zero time or inclination to purchase an entirely new wardrobe, nor is it really in the “gosh, this is exactly how I want to spend my disposable income” budget.

I had to give this some thought. Do I want to quit Muay Thai and see if I can return to my “old” body? Or do I want to continue with my current workout plan and set aside 2017 budget for a new wardrobe, and quality time with alterations?

So… who knows a good tailor?

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