Introducing “The Assistant”

No Longer Tiny

Reading. Always.

Reading. Always.

It seems that The Tiny Kitchen Assistant has decided that he’s no longer tiny, and takes some offense at being referred to as such. So, internet: allow me to introduce The Assistant (who is no longer tiny).

I decided to mark this occasion with a little interview.

Me: How old are you now? About 14 or something?

Assistant: Mom! I’m like, half that. You know that.

Me: So, how does it feel to be big and be able to cook?

Assistant: Kind of good. I like being able to use knives and potato peelers. I’m still a little bit afraid of the stove, oven stuff is too heavy and I can’t reach the microwave without a step stool. But I can make the pasta sauce without any help.

Me: What are some of your favorite meals?

Assistant: I love ham and bacon, but you don’t make them very much. Ummm, tikka masala with rice and pineapple is really good, even though it’s kind of spicy. Mmmm, yeah, that’s pretty good. And lemon pasta. And pizza. I also like most things with meat, but I don’t like meat with bones. Bones kind of freak me out.

Me: Really? Why do bones bother you? I thought you liked science.

Assistant: I do, just not in my food.

Me: What do you like best: cooking, coaching your mom at running, or something else?

Assistant: Well, you have to cook to have the energy for running, right? But right now I really like reading and riding my bike and building stuff.

Me: What are you reading?

Assistant: I just finished Lord of the Flies. Now I’m readingĀ Bad Astronomy.

Me: Those are some serious books.

Assistant: Yeah, I know, but you can look up the hard words in the Kindle dictionary. I’m glad Santa brought it for me.

Me: Anything else you want people to know?

Assistant: Nope. Can I go watch Netflix now? [note: he’s watching How the Universe Works, a little light viewing.]

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